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Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Experts Say These Magic Words Will Change Your Life


“I’m Sorry”
Apologizing doesn’t come easy to many of us, and in some cases, copping to blame or fault can downright awkward. But experts told Psychology Today that the specific words you use to apologize are less important to the person you’ve upset than the act itself. In other words, if you’re not exactly sure what to say, a simple heartfelt ‘I’m sorry’ can go a long way.

“We”
It may sound smug, but couples who used more collective pronouns, such as “we,” “our,” and “us” had more positive interactions and showed fewer signs of stress during fights than those who used more individual ones, such as “I,” “me,” and “you,” according to a University of California.

“Thank You”
Only one-third of people accept a compliment smoothly, found Binghamton University research reported by Psychology Today. Does this scenario sound familiar? She says: “I love that dress.” You say: “Oh this? I’ve had it for years.” Or, “Thanks—I wish it weren’t so snug though.” Or, “You think? I’m not crazy about the color.” We tend to qualify and clarify, often demeaning ourselves in the process. A better way to respond: Look the person in the eye and simply say, “Thank you.”

“Some”
“Nothing’s going right! Everything is out of control!” Sound familiar? When you get stressed, it’s easy to slip into an all-or-nothing mentality. But that can just drag you down, Tamar Chansky, PhD, author of Freeing Yourself from Anxiety, told Woman’s Day magazine. A simple solution: Use the word some. In other words, “Some things are going right, some things aren’t.” Suddenly the glass is looking half-full.

“No”
You’re not bad for saying no because of too little time, money, or interest. “Saying yes when you need to say no causes burnout,” says author Duke Robinson told RealSimple.com. “You do yourself and the person making the request a disservice by saying yes all of the time.”

“Can You Help Me?”
On the other hand, admitting when you need a hand—and saying yes to an offer of help—can be transformative. Whether you’re reluctant to ask for support a larger-than-you-can-chew work project or for some babysitting reinforcement during those bleary-eyed days of caring for a newborn, it’s natural to fear looking weak, needy, or incompetent, according to the New York Times. But not asking for help, or declining an offer of it, can sometimes let the problem spiral out of hand.

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